It's Not Easy by Nic Starr

Author:Nic Starr [Starr, Nic]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press

LYING ON the sofa bed, trying to get comfortable, although he could feel every spring, Spence closed his eyes and hoped for sleep. But whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was Ben’s face and remember that sad look. He would do anything to be able to help his friend, but with his own confused feelings, he didn’t really know how to handle the situation. He didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing and put Ben under any more pressure. With everything going on with his mom and dad, he needed every bit of support and friendship that Spence could give.

Spence’s own heart felt heavy. Then he felt guilty for worrying about his own feelings instead of focusing on Ben.

Realizing he wasn’t going to get anything resolved tonight, Spence rolled over, pulled the pillow over his head, and finally managed to doze off.

It could have been an hour, or maybe it was only minutes, but Spence gradually became aware of an out-of-place noise. He pushed the pillow out of the way and listened again but couldn’t hear anything.

He was just about to drift off again when he heard the sound again. It wasn’t very loud, but even with the door closed, he was so attuned to Ben that he instantly realized the sound was a quiet sobbing coming from Ben’s room.

He couldn’t just ignore Ben’s sorrow and allow him to cry alone. He pushed back the covers and rose, making his way quietly in the dark to Ben’s door, where he stood hesitating, before finally grasping the door handle.

He couldn’t move any farther and stood perfectly still. All it would take was a simple twist and the door would be open, but he wrestled with himself as to how to proceed. Another sob was all it took and the door was open. In four long steps, he was beside the bed. Another moment and he gently lowered himself to sit on the side and put a hand on Ben’s shoulder.

Ben stiffened for a moment but then took a deep breath and relaxed slightly. Spence rubbed in small circular motions on his arm, much like his mother had done when he was a boy. Long minutes seemed to pass, and then Ben took another deep shuddering breath and moved slightly across the bed, away from Spence.

Spence got up to leave, thinking Ben wanted to be left alone, but Ben spoke softly from the bed, “Don’t leave.” He pulled the covers back, making room for Spence, a lot like when they used to have sleepovers as boys.

He gently got into the bed, pulling the blankets up. They both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling, and the only sound was their breathing, which was almost in time. Ben whispered, “I don’t know what I would do without you, Spence.” Spence took Ben’s hand in his own smaller one and held on tight, remembering the times he had done the same thing as they had lain in the fort to escape the horror of Ben’s dad.

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